I may never be able to tell the full tale, but here’s part that we can learn from.

Transcript:

Hi everybody, I’m sitting here with Loki’s family.
You can see Byleister or… I’m not really good at pronouncing the word so Byleistr, Byleistr.
You can see Helblindi leaving the nest to go find his way.
In the house that Laufey and Farbauti have made.
And.
I’m sitting here thinking, uh. I’ve been meaning to tell this tale and there’s no way I can tell it in the very brief time that I’ve got on my phone.
So let me just gloss over really quick.
I was having a shamanic awakening. I had been warned it was coming by someone who could see, but I didn’t really want a shamanic weakening. I didn’t want to do that. I’m a comic artist. I’m a writer and I wanted to write and tell, to tell my stories.
I didn’t want to fool that business.
I had tried to be metaphysical many times.
My father was powerful magically. Very powerful. And I had grown up under that.
But with no gifts whatsoever.
So I didn’t really want to deal with that disappointment and that frustration of never being able to reach his level.
And besides, I was telling my stories and when you’re telling stories and writing it it it takes a lot of your time, whenever you’re trying to do it full time. You don’t have time for other stuff.
But.
The story started getting really good. And uh. I was incredibly lonely because I’m here by myself. And me and my husband weren’t exactly doing very well.
And that leaves an opening you see.
And. One day, umm.
I started getting visited. I already was like used to spiritual stuff. It’s just the way I was raised. You can believe it or you don’t. You know, some people have accused me of writing fiction. But it’s it’s not. And there is a difference between having a visual journey where you’re going through the dream state to let your subconscious speak and actually interacting with entities.
The uh.
They’re like, well, your subconscious speaks to them. That’s what I keep getting told. And I feel like that’s an overcomplication of what’s going on.
I have a philosophy. It’s called The Power of Perspective. Your subconscious is going to dictate how you see them. This is true. But it’s not like it’s not your subconscious actually speaking to them. And I feel like that that terminology, really disassociates what’s going on. At least to someone like me.
So I was perceiving them as things and I actually had been approached by some real beneficial, I guess you would call them gods. I call them the gods. And I’ll go into that another day.
That food, that food to the fire rolled to the side. They’re going to go hungry if I don’t find another one.
And somewhere along the way of me dealing with things, Umm, and trying to answer the call things stepped up and got in the way.
One of them is pretending to be Frigg.
Now, I don’t know. I mean, I’m pretty sure that I actually got to meet Frigg at least once, and I find her very gracious. Very gracious and she… She has my respect. Which is different from being irreverent, and I’ll explain the difference some other day.
But they, these entities were…
Wow, I just cannot hold it. I need a holder for my phone. I had one but the cats broke it. My evil cats.
And I was going through a, a nightmare with these creatures. I mean, it was a flat out nightmare. And I don’t guess what happened was important, but somewhere along the way when it was still beneficial, I had figured out that I could pitch pull, which is a healing art. And I was practicing with the spirits and I was getting ready to try to practice with real life things.
And I’ve pushed, pulled on a couple of things with kind of success. I wouldn’t say it’s a cure all, but it helps.Maybe if I were stronger it would be a cure all, but I am not my father.
And uh. Then there was the gospousing that came along that I was tricked into. But the point is, so there was this drama going on.
And somewhere along the way a whole lot of entities started to pile on.
And there was this girl who was coming out of California that I was speaking with that was supposedly in contact with the same God spells I had. Well, she was on the phone with me, when me and said godspouse were having a bit of problems with boundaries. And she had said, oh, he’s here and acted like a mediator. And he said, I will come to you and we will reconcile.
And I had got drunk while I was talking to her. Drinking wine and talking. So I’m sitting in my chair, happy and…
Down comes this entity that had the signal put out that he was my godspouse, but he didn’t appear as my godspouse always would appear. And also he had a different attitude.
But I’m tipsy and thought to myself, well…. They change shapes and stuff, yeah.
So he came and he – When we do a vampire story, we always go the vampire sucks the neck for the blah blah blah. Actually, it’s tantric. He he sucked on my right clavicle. And it was very tantric and it was a little overwhelming.
And.
I had started out with healthy boundaries. I will guard my sovereignty. I will be myself and literally in the time it took him to get his little feed I went to,”I love you.” And that’s called love bombing, in case you want to know, that’s called love bombing.
You completely lose your freaking mind.
Addiction. Oh my gosh, addiction, I mean. For the next several months, everything that I had been called to do got derailed. I couldn’t function. Every thought, every second was for this creature. And he would do things too. He would like shut off parts. Healthy functions in my life he would. Yeah, he, he was. He was about the control, all right. He was. Seriously about controlling everything I did.
Well, it was getting bad and I was getting depressed and I had reached out to everyone I could. A couple of famous Youtubers even who claim to be professional magicians or whatever. I mean, I was desperate.
And because things weren’t nice and I couldn’t figure it out.
But instead all I got was stay out of the astral.
And you’re making it up.
And if I wasn’t making it up, I was either making it up or.
It wasn’t real because there’s no way the gods could be impresonated.
So either it wasn’t real or it was real or I mean, or I should, I should just bend me and allow this creature to continue messing with my life because he was a God and you should just bend over and look. And it was. I couldn’t live for losing with the attitudes out there.
Push comes to shove, finally I call my goeti friend at work and he he finally listened and I had approached him a couple times on Facebook. I understand.
When I call my goeti friend at work.
And I got him to to listen finally.
Crying on the phone because.
On top of it all, there was also some people who decided, oh fair game, let’s do a witch war. I mean, it was. I could not turn without something.
I mean, this one guy even attacked me on the Astral with an axe. I saw that axe so clearly that I was able to go on Amazon the next day and find it to buy it myself.
I will too, because that was a damn good axe. It was tungsten.
Tungsten. I didn’t even know they made tungsten axes.
I have got to have that axe. That’s an amazing axe. But anyway.
So my friend broke some of the stuff that the external people were doing and it started and it gave me a space to think and then another friend of mine.
She.
Got me to learn to do wars. This is something I never had to bother because you know, I always had my dad to protect me.
You know it. I come from one of those families where my father was powerful, but.
Instead of teaching his children, he would just do it. And maybe he thought his children couldn’t learn it. I don’t, I don’t know.
So that when I finally had my head space and I started finally being able to put things together.
I spoke outloud to my friend on the phone, “Have you ever heard of an alien love bite?” And that is the moment that everything departed. Rumplestilstskin.
I’ve been seeing on YouTube.
Um, other people who had experienced similar to what I went through recently, where?
Their journey was hijacked, only they ended up getting.
Diagnosed with disorders and medicated away. And.
I haven’t really seen that many because admittedly I haven’t exactly looked so I’ve come across like one or two, but.
Now if I had been medicated away, if I had.
Could have afforded and could trust and I don’t the.
The mental health organizations, I would have been put on meds. I would have gotten a record.
And.
It would be a black mark in my life, as if I’d, you know, as if I needed yet another. And I probably would still be under their power because I would be depending on medicine to keep things straight.
Let me tell you, it was not fun.
It was not fun when your spiritual journey is hijacked.
I suffered since about March and it’s August now, I would say I’ve been free of their shit for almost a full month.
Now this has me thinking because then I find other people talking about how they too had gotten their world hijacked, you know, one guy was talking about it was a kundalini experience and.
They ended up diagnosed. They ended up not listened to.
And in the Pagan forums that I have visited.
One person came in with and they were having similar problems. And immediately everybody’s like mental health first. It’s probably not magic. It’s probably just you need pills.
I I don’t think that is actually the right approach it isn’t that I’m saying mental health doesn’t exist, for example, my you know, mental problems because my little brother, for example, it’s a big thing in my family with the men that.
If their power, if they’re going to be strong, they’re going to have an awakening around 18 and if if they can’t get past it, they go nuts, which is also a Thelamite thing. And this happened to my little brother also. My little brother went to a party while he was having his awakening and having trouble.
And someone slipped stuff into his drink and he didn’t come back. So my little brother is a different case. But the point is.
I know that mental illness is a thing and it can happen, and one of my theories is with some of the mental illnesses, it’s that your ability to sense the creatures and interact with the creatures the way I do.
Something happens and the connection gets fried.
And there’s your mental illness because you can’t interact with the, uh, the astral anymore and you can’t shut it off and then your brain is doing a lot of feedback and they don’t really know. But this is just one of my hypotheses. It’s not even a theory, it’s a hypothesis.
So I’m not saying that. No, illness doesn’t exist.
You know, I, I’ve seen, I’ve, I’ve clearly as of tonight have been in seeing both spectrums. I have experienced when it’s genuinely an astral situation and I have witnessed when it’s genuinely mental illness.
But in my case, and and I’ve I’ve more than my little brother, I’ve seen a lot of memos out there. So it’s like. OK.
I feel that the right approach when someone comes forward and they’re feeling externally attacked… Is… To do a balance of all right, let’s help you get an appointment, but let’s also go through the safe, healthy ways to break you from it. So that…
If you break it, and it goes away, they won’t need the appointment.
That’s not to say that somebody’s mental who’s mentally ill won’t lie. “Oh, I feel better now.” But. I think there’s a high chance that that that kind of person also finding excuses not to go to their appointments anyway.
So you know.
This is when I was worldwalking, but it was also when I was not worldwalking. I had went to several people in in one of the.
Couple of people who talked to me and said, (witch voice)”Stay out of the astral. Stay out of the astral.”
Except that it was happening beyond the astral. I was like waking up under attack.
Umm and I did wonder about my mental health briefly, but.
I also knew my history with the.
With the metaphysical and everything and.
You know, it was just, you could tell it was external.
There was no staying out of the astral because it wasn’t staying in the astral either.
And.
I finally got a goeti friend to listen to me. And to help me, but it took months to get someone to hear me.
And I ended up in a bad way.
I just feel that there needs to be…. an acknowledgement that these things exist.
That they can happen.
That ignoring a person who’s in need.
Umm, it’s the wrong approach.
Now one person I ended up speaking to, he was right out of his. He straight out, straight from the get go. “Do you feel attacked?”
Umm, but he went straight to do you feel attacked? And it was like umm.
No.
But I was already partially under the spell, so. I was trying to articulate what was going on, but nothing was coming out making sense, which I mean, so I guess he kind of sensed it, but he also wasn’t listening.
So that he’s like, well, you should, you know, “You can see about psychotherapy and see if that helps.” Just out of the gun.
And that wasn’t even the topic.
Of our conversation. Our conversation was supposed to be about purification healing techniques.
It’s hard to feed it one handed.
So while he was sensing something, his approach didn’t help because he wasn’t listening.
So it got nowhere.
And I was not forewarned or taught.
And you know, I’ve, I’ve seen some attitudes out there of, well, I put out a book about shielding, so you should just buy the book. And it’s like, you know, some people don’t know that you’ve written a book and don’t know you from a hill of beans.
Some people are having trouble completely raw and don’t even know what search terms to use.
“We need to be kinder to each other.”
This is what my spirit has just said to me. Like this is his quote. We need to be kinder to each other about the matter.
You know, the funny part is after all of this, I’m like, yeah, they’re predators. They gotta eat.
People are going to be sad.
People are going to get angry.
There are healthy ways for them to feed.
But I feel also that the things are really out of balance between us and the spirits, so that they’re starving and they’re grabbing what they can.
And we need to also come back to where we stand instead of trying to circumvent some some steps and everything.
Now that’s just my history talking there, but.
I’m over it now, and these are predators. Predators are going to do what they do and it’s our duty to teach and pass on the knowledge and uh…
Stories like Rumpelstiltskin and all those fairy tales, they actually hold knowledge on how to push back.
What broke me free… was… when I spoke what was going on out loud.
Because I knew when I finally realized what it was, I spoke the words literally.
Literally they they, they left like I was over it in like 2 minutes flat it was.
It was literally like waking up from a dream from Fairy Land.
But yeah, I was, I was spiritually hijacked.
And I’m actually lucky to have come out of it alive.
Really, really lucky.
Their fatal move in the end was they were trying to force me to accept everything on faith, which I don’t do.
They had. I had already bent knee, and set aside my natural irreverence on the command of my vampire.
And the more reverent I got, the weaker I got in their spell.
And it wasn’t until things started really getting pushed too far and I was like, now wait a minute, look, I love you.
Or I thought I did.
I love you, but this is going too far and I’m not doing this. I’m not. I’m not going there. You can forget it and I would get so angry.
And my irreverence allowed me to stop and stand up and look these creatures in the eye and say you have the appearance of Frigg, you have the appearance of so and so.
And I don’t care.
And it was. It allowed me to push back.
When I pushed back is when my My divine patrons, finally…
They had already been stepping up, by the way. That’s another problem that I have noticed with these hijackings. And this is something that’s recorded in the UFO lore because the ufologists are studying and we really need to be willing to talk about this stuff. We really do, but.
Was that they want you to bend knee.
They want you to worship and bow, and there can be worship without hurting yourself.
A beneficial being is one that’s going to actually step up to help you. There are creatures that are like, oh, I am beneficial. “I am, I am Mother Teresa, I promise.” But when something negative happens to you, they just stand there and watch and they give you the following lines. They say things like, well, it will help. “It will hurt your development.” “Well, I can’t get in the way of your free will.” “It’s a test.” “It’s a lesson that you must learn from.”
They have a thousand and one excuses why they can’t help you.
My Divine.
Being one of them was well Odin or Wodan. I was calling him Odin.
And I learned the other day, which is kind of cool because, you know, I had never thought about these guys. He approaches me, I have this thing. And then I find out later that the way he approached me was more of a wooden aspect than Odin aspect. And there was like details that I that are like obscure. That was just really, really cool.
So it’s like, oh, you’re genuine. He kept trying to tell me stuff and teach me stuff and help me break free.
That is a that is a beneficial, that is a beneficial helper there that that you know… he, he has my loyalty. I wear his noose.
He put his noose on me. Actually, I wear his noose.
And it’s funny because I used to be like, I will have nothing to do with Odin. Ever. And here I sit telling you that I. I am… He has earned. He has earned my favor.
And, uh, I even have a little altar for him.
But he was stepping up to help me. That is what your beneficial will do.
And sometimes I can’t do a lot, but he he tried.
He tried.
And when it was all over, I ended up having to apologize to a lot of beings.
There were still actions that I had done and so I took responsibility and started repairing things because I was working with Mengloff.
That’s actually where I had begun and trying to recover pitch.
Now. I’m almost at a time.
I just, uh. I just wanted to gloss over this like a rambling radiator at a bus stop as I sit here by, uh, by a Laufey and Farbauti’s hall.
Listening to Laufey play.
And. It was just something that I think about sometimes that. Our treatment of when someone’s being genuinely attacked.
Lacks. And…
We genuinely need to reassess how we have allowed the magicless mundanity of explanation, get in the way of our ability to interact with the arcane.
Just because we understand how it works doesn’t mean it’s not arcane and special.
But we are allowing the mundanity to basically put a cage around our ability to fly.
And as beings with a divine spark, as beings that. We do have the power to stand straight and look a parasite in the eye and say, you know, fuck off.
As beings that are like that, we need to remember how to defend ourselves against this and how to tell actually.
So I’m here to tell you that one way to tell is whether or not they’re doing good or bad, and if they’re putting you through a rollercoaster of emotions so they can eat.
Then it’s bad.
Here’s how they ate.
And I I realized later.
The signs were there.
I went to have a bitch session with Frigg and Freya.
Freya, by the way, was trying to help me all along, even through this.
But I wanted to talk men and get some advice.
As soon as we set it up I was immediately hit with you need to cry.
Frigg sat there very coolly and smuggly drink tea out of teacups. She was drinking my tears of grief.
I went to Freyr Over a matter and I was angry about it as soon as I stepped up.
I was hit with the inability to hold my anger down. Ended up ranting about imbalances. He sat there eating grapes.
He was eating my Grapes of Wrath.
There was this one guy, I don’t know who… one so-called God. I don’t know who he was, but I called him peanut gallery God because he always had something quippy to say.
I was really depressed lying on the floor. Just depressed and he sat there and ate popcorn.
Yeah, he was sitting there enjoying the shitshow on my despair.
So your subconscious will show you.
But. It’s it’s a…
In my case it was very metaphorical. They were literally eating and it was even showing me what they were eating, but I didn’t understand they were eating because I trusted them.
So. This is just a situation we need to assess.
We need to teach our-we need to remember to teach our children how to shield.
And defend themselves and want to watch for.
We need to remember that just because something is a god doesn’t mean it’s got the right to be abusive, and if it is abusive, it’s probably not a god.
well.
That’s all I have to say. But you know.
Yeah, this is the crux that left me feeling like I had lost my faith in the universe, but I’m getting there.
And.
Loki’s family is helping.
So I’m going to get back to.
Being a good guest to these guys now.
And I thank you for listening.
And I hope that my crazy ramblings are of use.