For the spirits, I learned to make eggnog.

I’d reset my wards one Saturday, and for once went through the full deal. One of the weekly problems I have – some idiots up north who have funny ideas about divine power – had been extra active. I guess the holiday had given them extra time to not find a constructive hobby. So there I was, re-enforcing my protections.

As I finished, I was given a vision of a very shiny and well cared for obviously sharp knife. It was like an athame but more dagger like. I was taking it out of it’s special box wherein it was nestled in red cloth. I watched this and realized, oh. They’re asking for a return sacrifice.

I was mid-sentence, talking to Many Cats, when the outraged cry rang out across my backyard. It was white hot and sharp, a wave of knives and cutting fog. HOW DARE I SERVE THEM 2% MILK! THIS WAS NO BETTER THAN WHITE WATER!!!!

I shouted back, “I GAVE YOU WHAT I HAD!!!!!”

I could have left it at that, and for a moment I was tempted. But I decided, no. I would make it right. So even though I was risking bouncing up and coming payments, Many Cats suggested eggnog. This was agreed upon, and she went to buy the parts while my husband and I looked up a recipe.

I’d never had eggnog before. I fell in love with it. And Odin? He drank his entire glass. I had found a winner of an offering. I’ve been tweaking the recipe ever since, searching for the best way to put your soul into the soup. After all, the spirits could go to the grocery store for their food and just take off the shelves. But, I am given to understand, that processed shit is like eating cardboard. Literally. The effort I make with this eggnog is a fare fit for kings (to them).

I highly recommend it if you’re going to work with spirits. Consider it liquid diplomacy for disgruntled deities: potent enough to spirit away winter blues, yet smooth enough to make Loki materialize for seconds. Boo-zy? Absolutely. A little. Worth the ectoplasmic effort? Spectrally so.

Recipe: Irish Cream Eggnog for Spirit Lovers

Begin Sacrifice! Go!

Step 1 – Offering of the Virginal Unborn

• If you haven’t already separated the egg yolks from the eggs, do so now.
• Set the egg whites aside. You can be creative with them later.
• In a mixing bowl, add yolks to sugar. Whisk until reasonably light and fluffy.
• Their blood is now on your hands. There’s no going back at this point.

Step 2 – Destroy the Unborn With Your Powers

• Pour the weeping battered unborn into a saucepan. Turn the heat to medium-low. Extend their agony through patience and the bound heat of trickster gods!
• Add cream, whisk for one minute.
• Add milk. Whisk for ONE MINUTE.
• Add nutmeg, cinnamon, vanilla, and whisk for ONE MINUTE! Or more. At this point you’re whisking or stirring with a holey spoon swishily until the mixture is hot, to the point of a simmer.
• DO NOT STOP STIRRING! OR THE EGG DRAUGR WILL RISE! Their brains are scrambled and they will want yours! The safety of the nog depends on it!

Step 3 – The Unborn Brewed

Finally, the evil forces have been defeated. The brew must now be turned into brew by adding the magical elixir.

• Add the Irish cream slowly, carefully, while stirring gently and triumphantly. Savor the victory.
• NOW! WHISK! WHISK LIKE YOU MEAN IT! FOR YOUR HEALTH!
• FOR GLORY
• FOR. THE.
• NOOOOOOG

You may now consume the properly sacrificed soul elixir of the unborn!

In my opinion, eggnog tastes best when fresh. I always ladle a cup to drink right away. If I don’t, I’m going to stand at the saucepan with a spoon until it’s gone.

Dribble the honey warmed over the top of the serving when offering to the deities themselves. Insert cinnamon sticks for decoration and flavor. All done. I will not tell you how to make your offering here.

For storage, strain into a glass container. I use an old whole milk 1/2 gallon jar from the good old days before the local dairy distributor was shut down.

Special cooking note: While making the nog, I try to keep my thoughts on fulfilling things. The energy you put into your food does matter, thus the statement “made with love” going hand in hand with the best food you’ve ever tasted. I don’t just add love, though. I literally stand there and think “flavor”. This may or may not work for you.